C is for Community

For some, family is everything. For others, if their family found out they were pagan they wouldn't have a family anymore, or it would cause much chaos and drama and pain. Some pagans find that it is more comforting to work in a group, a coven, or to have a community to turn to. Others are more selective and prefer to be solitary.  There is no right nor wrong.

For me community is family. I am lucky in that the community I share myself with has been drama free (more or less), validate who and what I am, and support me no matter what. I have friends that I can call on at 0200 and cry to and vice versa. I have friends that will tell me the truth whether it hurst my feelings or not because I've been a dumb arse and understand when I call them out when needed. I have a mother that loves me unconditionally and kicks my arse when needs be. I have a brother who I cherish and will let him fall on his arse in order for him to learn but will be there to help him up when he asks. I have a daughter that is the most amazing creature in my life. I have Frog, many that I call Sister and Brother in this world and the next that I can't imagine my life without, and extended associations I can go to when I need a resource. I can go to my UU Fellowship and feel accepted. I can go to Wisteria and feel appreciated. I can come home and feel loved. Community for me is Family.

I don't necessarily share my spiritual practices with all of them though. I do like to share some traditions, a piece here and a piece there. I'm more ecclectic/solitary than anything else. I do enjoy playing a supporting role in many rites/rituals though. I've always felt my place in the circle is outside the circle. I am blessed they understand that.

Community is only what you put into it., however. Sometimes it isn't balanced: you give more than you are given; you need to take more that what you can give. I feel that what you give will eventually come around.

Quality is more important that quantitiy. You can give so much you burn yourself out. The word 'No' in a healthy community is respected and honored. Saying no to someone else is saying yes to yourself. How can you fill someone else's teacup if your teapot is empty? In the right community you can fill someone else's cup while someone else is filling yours. In the wrong community your generosity may be taken advantage of.

Creating the right community for you is an artform, much like gardening. Pruning drains here and encouraging blooms there is needed. I know it has brought a variety of wealth to my life though. I can't imagine myself without them.

So this is a thank you to all of them. They know who they are. I wouldn't be me without you to stand with me.